Loving You
by ashantelle
Summary: Love is the greatest thing you'll ever feel. It is the greatest thing you'll ever experience. Loving you is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me... JL, AU.. read and review please!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything! I only own the plot. Haha!

**Author's Notes:** Please read and review! I would love to know what you think of what I wrote. This is J/L, but it isn't obvious as it's just someone's POV—I'm not going to spoil who the one talking though you would know by now who is it. All the same, his name is written by the end of the chapter. Haha! I wrote this thinking of unrequited love, and I thought of James pursuit of Lily—it was, for a time, unrequited.

Please read and review! I want to make this story a hit a possible though I'm not really a good writer. I'm aiming for at least 5 reviews, so be nice and thoughtful and give me one. Wouldn't it be nice that you made someone happy with your review, whether it's a good or bad comment?

Haha! I sound like a lost case, but your reviews would be so meaningful to me…

And so presenting…

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**Loving You**

By Ashantelle

I love her.

I love her when she's happy, or when she's sad. I love her when she's angry, or when she's mad. I love her when she's laughing, or when she's serious. I love her whole being, and her imperfections make her more beautiful. I love her with all my heart, my body, my soul.

She is perfect to me. She knows what she wants, and is not afraid to get it. She's so brave and courageous to stand up to people who use her or take advantage of her. She is free and unconfined; like nothing stands in her way and that nothing is stopping her. She doesn't care what other people think; she's an individual among the crowd. She doesn't go with the flow, in fact, she IS the flow. People follow her lead. She is sure of herself, never letting anyone get her down.

I admire her.

I adore her.

I love her.

She's so beautiful. Her soulful green eyes look on you like she knows everything about you. Her face is so unique, so beautiful. Her smile entrances me. She lights up the room when she smiles. Her beautiful lips can enchant many others. Her lovely voice is like music to my ears. Her body molds to what seems to me like perfection. Every part of her astounds me, and definitely attracts me to her.

Her personality is not quite like any other people. Unique, as others would say, but in general, she's a happy and carefree person. She loves herself, and she doesn't need the assurance of other people to know that she looks good. She's not vain, like most people are. She's fashionable, and she knows how to carry herself well. She's funny and has a sense of humor. She's not afraid to be alone; in fact, she likes the solitude. She wants to be free with no restrictions. She is very wise and perceptive. She knows what the other is feeling, and she respects that. She isn't just some girls who loves to gossip. This girl likes to talk about serious things that concern everyone, and she can hold intelligent conversations.

I am her friend who just 'looks from afar', but never did I try to make move on her. I am part of her 'inner circle' (very BIG improvement from the past years considering I was her enemy—it's a long story), and I wouldn't want this silly feeling to get in the way of our friendship. I admit, this maybe only just an infatuation, but for me, it's more than that. I don't know what I'm feeling. I can't distinguish this if it is infatuation or not. But it would be justifiable if I would say I love her. It may be friendly or romantic. But I know its love.

I know her up to an extent, and there are a lot of things I don't know about her. All I can say is that I know her well enough to know what she's feeling. She keeps her emotions inside and keeps her feelings guarded. I'm so lucky to be one of those people who she decides to show her true colors, her true self without her 'mask'. I'm one of those people who she can let her guard down though rarely. But I seem to be drifting away little by little, and you don't know how much it devastates me to know this. Am I that obvious, or she's just perceptive?

I love her so much that I don't want our friendship to break because of this stupid feeling. I feel so jealous when one of her friends spends time with her and not with me. I feel even more jealous when she decides to come to them for advice and when she's feeling down instead of me. I don't mean to be selfish, but I would appreciate it if I'm one of the people she says her problems to.

I want to be the one making her happy and cheering her up when she's down. I want to be her shoulder to cry on, her confidant. I want to know all her secrets and everything about her that the others don't know. I want to be someone special in her life. I want to be her best friend. I want to be someone she could freely talk to about her feelings. I want to hold her close in my arms, and just tell her that I'm there for her. I want to whisper sweet nothings in her ear. I want to be her support in all the things that she wants do.

I want to be her everything because certainly, she's my everything, but she doesn't know that.

I'm not the one meant to do these things, nor say those comforting words. I'm not the one turns to when she's down, and I can't change that. I'm not her best friend. I'm not her confidant. I'm not her everything, and that kills me so much.

There is a time that she breaks down, and all I want to do is hold her in my arms and hug her like there is no tomorrow. I want her to let her tears flow down and feel safe in my arms. This didn't happen for obvious reasons, plus I'm not going to show to the whole world that I love her. I'd rather keep it a secret to everybody, even her.

This feeling is going to be the end of me. It's going to be my downfall, I tell you. I may be exaggerating, but, in a sense, true. I can't keep all of my emotions bottled up inside of me. Someday, I'm going to let it all out, but at that time, she wouldn't be close to me anymore. Probably she would have someone to spend her days with—obviously not me. I have a strong suspicion that she'll forget me after graduating. I don't know.

I do not regret not telling her. I'd rather to adore her from a far, than expressing it face to face. Call me cowardly, but I prefer it this way for now. I'm not even sure if this is love or just infatuation, but all I know is that I feel something strong for her. Something that I never felt before, and I have a strong suspicion that it's love. Someday, somehow, I'm going to tell her. My affection for her is forever and true. I'll tell her what I feel—or felt, it depends if I still feel for her that way when that time comes.

I admire her.

I adore her.

I worship her.

I'm addicted to her.

And most of all…

I love her…

And loving her…

Is the greatest feeling I've ever felt…

It's good to love…

But…

It is better to be loved in return…

I am James Potter and I confess to all of you who are reading this… that I love her…

I love my former 'enemy'…

I love my close friend…

I love Lily Evans…

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**Author's Notes:**

So, how was it? Please read and review! I would appreciate it. It's my first fic on so be nice! I hope you liked it. Would I write another chapter with Lily's POV? Please review to let me know what you think!

Maybe this would be a two shot or a multiple chapter story…or maybe just a one shot… I'm still undecided, oh well.

If you have reached this part of the story, thank you for reading!


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Notes: **Hey everyone! I hope you liked chapter 1. This chapter is now Lily's POV about James. I hope this turns out just as well. Lily is in denial at first. I'm depicting her denial in the first part of the chapter. It has a different style, unlike the first chapter. It has some humor in it, and I hope you guys would appreciate it. Read and review please!

And so presenting…

**Loving You**

Chapter 2

I hated him

I hated his cute smile and boyish grin. I hated hiss messy raven black hair. I hated his very charming personality. I hated his intelligence. I hated his talent in flying and Quidditch. I hated it that he gets high marks without even reading a book. I hated it that magic just came from him naturally. I hated him! He was so bloody arrogant! He always played pranks on Snape, not to mention me at times too.

But most of all, I hated the things he did to me. No, not physically, but he affected me emotionally.

I hated it that he affected me that way. What way? THAT way… You know, evoking warm, tingly feelings inside of me. I hated that feeling. He was supposed to be my enemy for goodness sake! It was forbidden for me to think about him that way! (sigh)

Well, that was what I thought of in the past. Did you notice that I used past tense in narrating all of this? I was because it happened IN THE PAST. Nothing much had changed; in fact, I would say it had just merely evolved.

Because from hate, it evolved to love. I always did say that there was a fine line between love and hate. It just so happened that I crossed it, and I didn't regret it. I admitted to myself that I denied it at first. It was practical and logical at the time. Loving an enemy? How preposterous is that? Not to mention it was very cliché. I was never a romantic. It took a lot of time to accept it, and I wasted a lot of my precious time to ponder on it. My grades dropped a little, and though unnoticeable, the change was still there.

Now, believe or not, I accept that I love him. I really love him.

Are you surprised? You may be thinking that it's too soon to say that I love him. But no, I really do. I can't really explain it, but I know it's, well, true. I think I have started loving him a long time ago, and I'm just too stubborn to admit it. I even say that what I feel is hate, but it's not. It's just a long time of denial.

I don't know what this feeling is, but there are a lot of things that I love about him.

I love his cute smile and boyish grin. I love his messy raven black hair, and I would love to run my deft fingers through those soft tresses. I love his charming personality. I love his intelligence, and his witty remarks. I love that he has many talents, namely flying and Quidditch.

But I'm not superficial. I don't love him based on his looks and talents. I love him for who he is.

They say love is blind, but I think it's just accepting the person just the way they are. You see all their faults and love him for it. Acceptance of what he's capable of and what he cannot do. Acceptance of his bad traits and good traits. Being in love with that person must be because you accept them. You do not try to change them because they are perfect in their own way, their own right.

Because I love him, I can say that he is not perfect. Love doesn't make me blind. He isn't perfect! He's still arrogant, though it's not as much as before and is quite tolerable. He still pranks Snape, and I still disapprove of that. He still gets into my nerves sometimes, but he makes sure that he doesn't get far with his infuriating jokes.

Though he has these faults, I still love him. See? I still love him!

But obviously he doesn't love me back. I regret those times when he used to ask me out everyday. I always answer no because my pride won't let me say yes. Now, I just think that I lost my chance—that he is uninterested anymore. My pride is my downfall.

More serious now...

I only realized that I love him when we became friends. Yes, we ARE friends right now. If we would still be enemies, I would never ever admit to myself that I'm in love with the git, and I would still be in the denial stage. We now actually talk civilly and willingly, something I have thought we will ever do.

Being friends with him made me see a new side of him--a side that I fell in love with--and I'm determined not to give that up. That's the reason why I can't just go up to him and say "James, I love you," and kiss him senseless. I just can't risk him rejecting me and things between us going awkward. Maybe he'll go back to his arrogant ways, and I couldn't risk that, not right now at least.

I know I've already said this, but I really regret saying no. Damn my stupid pride.

I have already told my best friend about this, and she keeps on saying that he likes me. "Go for it. It's obvious that he still likes you," she says. No, I don't think so, because if he does, why doesn't he do anything?

"He still likes you, Lily. Do it before it's too late. Stop going to me about this. James is staring and I believe he's getting jealous because you always go to me."

Is he really jealous? I am confused about his feelings. Ughh, I wish I could read his mind and know, so that I would know what to do. I wish I could just gather up the courage to go up to him and say what I feel. If only it would just be that easy.

You know what? This sounds deep, but he is my world. He really is. It hurts me when I see him flirting with other girls, and know that he have used to do that to me. I don't know what he sees in them. I really wish I could say how I feel. I wish I could let him know that he is my world, my everything.

But now is not the time. It's too...raw. But I promise to myself that I'm going to tell him, someday, when I gather the courage.

Someday, I'm going to make my wishes and dreams come true and make them a reality. And when that time comes, I'll be happy. I'll be contented. I'll be the happiest girl in the world because I'll be with HIM.

Whether I like it or not, I have these feelings for him. I can't ignore it or make it go away. But I'm not ashamed to admit it, even if only just to myself and my friend for now. I need to make the first move, since I am the one who pushed him away.

I need this because I love him.

I love him.

I love his personality, his mind, and his flaws.

I love everything about him, the whole of him.

Loving him is a feeling like no other, like soaring above the clouds and feeling bliss. It is the greatest feeling in the world.

I just hope he feels the same...

Because there is no greater feeling than receiving the love of your loved one...

Especially from him...

I am Lily Evans, and I'll say this once…

I love my former 'enemy'…

I love my close friend…

I love this boy who is unique in all ways…

I love James Potter…

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**Author's Notes: **So, was it okay? I hope it was up to par with the earlier chapter. I liked this because it has humor—as I've said before in the AN above—though only a little. 

Read and review! I would like to know what you thought of my work. Constructive criticism would be nice. This story is kind of parallel to the first chapter. 

This is an un-beta-ed (Haha! I like that worked) version, so I need my beta o read it over. Sorry, for the mistakes, I really tried to lessen them. I'll update this one again, uploading a beta-ed version. But if I don't, it means that it's already alright. 

If you reached this part of the story, thank you for reading! And remember to read and review!


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